While hanging out with some new friends the other night, our hostess was sharing about some of the people who were formerly involved in her life but who are no longer. She said, "I'm a firm believer that God brings people into our lives for a time to help us grow, then removes them when He is done..." I sat there as all of my insides screamed and cried in sorrow... "NO!!!" I'm a heart-on-my-sleeve type, so I'm sure she could see my awkward expression as I was trying to look supportive and look like I was listening attentively, while in the midsts of an internal turmoil outbreak... Now, I intellectually know that what she was saying is very true, but emotionally I hate losing anybody... EVER! I want to collect and hoard all of my friends, past and present, and flash freeze them at the height of our friendships... like flash frozen fruit - picked and frozen at the height of freshness... I thought of all of the friendships I've lost... some through very difficult circumstances, some through simply growing apart, some through moving and distance, some seem to just fade away... and some friendships have just changed... once inseparable, now just a comment or email here or there...
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Flash Frozen Friendship Anyone?
I've contemplated, (many an hour in the last several months unfortunately) whether it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all... at times I am grateful for the lessons I've learned, and I know I should be thankful in all situations, but other times it is just hard...
I don't have an ending for this post except to say to all my former, present, and future friends, I love you all and pray that God's will be done, even if I don't understand it or like it...
Posted by hgrenier at 4:48 PM
Labels: Hopeful Heather, Thoughts
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5 comments:
Wow--I've never heard anyone say it that way before, but I guess she does have a point. It's hard when relationships change for me, too, though there have been times where I've been shocked at how easy it seems for me to move on--not because of negative circumstances but because life changes and I've had to change with it.
What a reflective topic, Heather!
I must say I agree with your friend 110%... When I reflect on my friends that I have had in my life there are NONE, no NOT ONE! that have remained in my life entirely throughout my life. I have only just discovered in the last couple months that God does indeed put people in your life at just the right time for just the right reason. He allows you to grow and become a better you and then move on to give and receive from others. I have also seen in recent months how friends from a distant past can come full circle back into your life when you least expect it. I am amazed at how our friendships and relationships evolve with His perfect timing. Dave and I often lay and bed and talk about "stuff" and this is one of those topics. We wonder... of the friends we have NOW, how many will be friends for life. And it is typically those people that I "think" will be a lifelong friend, are just temporary, or maybe they move in and out over the years. Only God knows the reason for this but I am so grateful He loves me enough to give me so many wonderful friends to make me who I am!
sigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
with much love and huggles....... always
I have lots of friends that have been temporary... I just wished they realized it! Seriously, there is this one girl I was friends with in 6th-7th grade. In 8th grade she spread rumors about me and I was done with it. Then, fast forward to the college years and she tries to be my friend, almost desperately. I finally thought I'd lost her when we moved to Frostproof, but she found me, until we got new cell phone numbers (unrelated to her, we just did).
Now, I know she can find me if she googles me, but I guess she got the message. I didn't return her phone calls for 3-4 years.
I am sure, Heather, that you are not the same as this person though... she was clingy and emotional.
Maybe, some might argue, and I did with myself too, that I should have reached out to her in Christian love... but we had a history I just couldn't get over (not just the rumors, other stuff too). She was a 100% taker and we had NOTHING in common as adults.
I could have written this post myself! Wow, do I understand what you mean. I'm so thankful that someone made the comment to me about people coming in and out of your life back when I was in college. I have held on to this difficult truth, particularly when I felt (feel) the urge to be bitter towards those friends who have left my life. Thanks for sharing this :)
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