Steppin' on toes, my own as well...

The last couple of months I've had many of these thoughts percolating... These seemed to all spill out when I was at a youth conference (Mark Matlock's Planet Wisdom) with our youth group. I scribbled frantically in any spare space in my conference notebook trying to get what has been burdening my heart out on paper. While although I haven't blogged in a year and a half, I was compelled to try to capture my thoughts.

Loving and ministering to people is messy.

People are messy.

We, the church, need to love people even in the mess, despite the mess... love them where they are - mess and all...

Are we accepting / welcoming people into our family as the people they are currently, or are we expecting / demanding them to clean up first, meet certain standards; or get left out?

We need to meet people with open arms where they are, as they are.

Are we willing to open the doors, open our arms, open our hearts to them? Or are we preferring our own ease, our own comfort, over their uncomfortable mess?

Are we so prideful that we don't see that Jesus loves US in OUR MESS?

Are we rationalizing our pride?

Is it that we are lazy, only caring for ourselves?

Are we willing to DO LIFE TOGETHER with messy, imperfect people, or are we demanding that they leave their mess at home before they come?

Doing life together with those around us is messy!

God doesn't NEED our help to love these people! He CHOOSES us, He CALLS us... NOT only to love these people; but to CHANGE US in the process! To CONFORM us more into His image. Are we missing out because we are choosing to pursue our own comfort instead?

Are we missing out on a blessing because we don't want to get messy?

God is PASSIONATE about you! God is PASSIONATE about people - messy, quirky people.

Are we going to love them, even become passionate about them; as true followers and imitators of CHRIST? Or are we going to be comfortable?

Are we conveying that truth through our attitudes, actions, love, deeds to other people? What do others assume about God through watching how we react to them?

Are we busy being offended, or are we extending God's grace?

Are we busy arguing because we are offended, or are we busy arguing for those who are defenseless?

I love the sound and voice of John Mayer, but when I hear his song "Waiting on the World to Change", the lyrics infuriate me a little bit more each time. Now I wonder (maybe I don't want Mayer and his friends acting to change the world), but could these lyrics be about me? Could they be about CrossRidge Church? Could they be describing the apathetic American / Western / Commercialized brand of Christianity that is prevalent?

Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could

Now we see everything that's going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it (but the Bible says we have the same power in us that raised Christ)

So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Instead of standing at a distance, we need to BE the change we want to see! Even in a small way, step out and follow God even in baby steps.

1 John 3:18 "...let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

John 13:35 "Your love for one another will PROVE to the world that you are my disciples."

Are we proving that we are disciples of ease, comfort, selfishness? Or are we proving we are disciples of Jesus, the God who came down and got messy!?

Are we living in the very Presence of The Living God? Or are we living in our own presence?

Ephesians 5:1&2 "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

It all boils down to this: Who will we imitate and exalt in our lives? God or ourselves?

Flash Frozen Friendship Anyone?

While hanging out with some new friends the other night, our hostess was sharing about some of the people who were formerly involved in her life but who are no longer.  She said, "I'm a firm believer that God brings people into our lives for a time to help us grow, then removes them when He is done..."  I sat there as all of my insides screamed and cried in sorrow...  "NO!!!"  I'm a heart-on-my-sleeve type, so I'm sure she could see my awkward expression as I was trying to look supportive and look like I was listening attentively, while in the midsts of an internal turmoil outbreak...  Now, I intellectually know that what she was saying is very true, but emotionally I hate losing anybody...  EVER!  I want to collect and hoard all of my friends, past and present, and flash freeze them at the height of our friendships...  like flash frozen fruit - picked and frozen at the height of freshness...  I thought of all of the friendships I've lost...  some through very difficult circumstances, some through simply growing apart, some through moving and distance, some seem to just fade away...  and some friendships have just changed...  once inseparable, now just a comment or email here or there...  

I've contemplated, (many an hour in the last several months unfortunately) whether it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all...  at times I am grateful for the lessons I've learned, and I know I should be thankful in all situations, but other times it is just hard...  

I don't have an ending for this post except to say to all my former, present, and future friends, I love you all and pray that God's will be done, even if I don't understand it or like it...  

Meditation

Psalm 119:48 (New International Version)

 48 I lift up my hands to your commands, which I love, 
       and I meditate on your decrees.

While reading the Bible, I've come across the word "meditate" many times, but never truly understood what it meant.  I knew it didn't mean sit "indian style" (or "crisscross apple sauce" for the younger generations) and touch your middle fingers and thumbs together...  and I did know that it meant to continue to "think about" something, to ponder...  but I still didn't get it...  Until one day I was re-hashing a painful experience in my mind...  going over and over in my head what I could have done differently, what had been done to me, why had it been done to me, should I do something else, if so what else should I do, will this situation ever change, will this pain ever heal, will the situation ever be mended...  and suddenly it hit me...  I was meditating on my pain!  It was as if a lightbulb went off in my brain!  This is what it means to meditate!  It has been such an amazing learning experience to realize when I'm meditating on negative thoughts, and choose to stop myself and choose instead to mediate on God's Words.  What an amazing burden is lifted when I choose the later!  

I've heard it said, "Anything you DON'T feed, Dies..."  By meditating on my pain, I'm "feeding" my pain - causing it to increase!  Yikes!  But by meditating on God's word, I'm "feeding" my spirit, I'm renewing my mind, and I'm increasing my PEACE!

What have you been meditating on?  What are some things you do to stop yourself from focusing on pain or negativity?

While I'm Waiting

During a sermon I heard in Carlsbad, New Mexico on waiting on the Lord, the pastor pointed out that the word "wait" can mean several things:

to stay in place in expectation of, to remain stationary in readiness or expectation, to look forward expectantly, to hold back expectantly, AND / OR  to serve as waiter for, to be ready and available, to attend as a servant.

I've come back to this thought time and time again, especially when I heard the song "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller.  Below I've included the lyrics and a link to the video on YouTube.

This song has really ministered to me (on constant replay on my ipod since september!!!) during a very difficult time for me, and continues to minister me now.  Even though when I first heard this song in September I couldn't even imagine myself as "bold and confident", or even "moving ahead" for that matter, singing this song and praying these lyrics have helped tremendously!  

What song has ministered to you lately, and how?

While I'm Waiting   by:  John Waller

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFwZ7Ekg080

Thinking Tree Thoughts :)

One of the things I've really been struggling with and learning and growing in lately is trying to take every thought captive.  Instead of focusing on negative, painful, unproductive thoughts, I've been trying to focus on life-filled thoughts.  I even sometimes imagine little cartoon police officers handcuffing and taking the thought away to the slammer, heehee...  :) It's interesting how God uses trials in our lives to highlight and teach us more fully about His Truths.  Maybe it's just me, but when I'm going through trials it seems as if every time I turn on the tv or radio or open a book or magazine there is someone telling their testimony or sharing what they are going through or a sermon that hits me exactly where I need it most.  This isn't a perfect example of what I mean, but it's been something helpful none the less...  I was reading Jordan Rubin's book, "Perfect Weight America" (okay, side note... I thought he was a scam artist too until I saw his tv program, and his nutritional advice really makes sense!  and was in line with several doctors and specialists we had seen over the last couple of years...)  In his chapter "Think for Your Perfect Weight"  he describes exhaling stress and inhaling peace.  However, I found myself putting way too much focus on whatever I'm exhaling (stress, anger, whatever), when instead that energy could continue to be focused on the positive...  Why not, "Inhale and imagine the peace of God filling you, and exhale imagining the peace of God flowing out of you and covering Jane", or whoever may be enhancing your stress level at the moment...  I know, I know...  seems hokey, but try it sometime...   

I also came across a tv program with a woman guest who is a brain researcher.  She described what actually happens in your brain when you have a positive thought and a negative thought.  She explained that when you have a positive thought your neurons in your brain form in a tree like pattern, but when you have a negative thought your neurons form a bare looking tree with thorns that emit neuro-toxins which effect our physical health... can make us feel achey and tired, etc.  I dunno, I haven't studied the brain, but it sure helps me visualize.  :)  So now I'm trying to think tree thoughts more and more  :)  Now I wanna cute t-shirt that says, "Thinking Tree Thoughts"  :)  


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Thinking Tree Thoughts by hgreniermk
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Okay, so now many of you think I've completely gone off my rocker, but how do you explain taking every thought captive?  What does that look like, how does it play out in your life?